How to Begin Spiritual Disciplines
with Your Spouse
~ A Guide~
In the first small group meeting of the Three Strand Cord, we introduced the idea of couples participating in spiritual disciplines together. Here, we offer a step by step guide for one process by which you might accomplish this task which we believe will deeply enrich your marriage. So often at weddings, we hear the passage from Ruth: “Do not press me to leave you or to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16, NRSV). Engaging in spiritual disciplines together is a very intentional way to seek God together. Marriage is a unique way through which the Holy Spirit moves in the world to bring growth and wholeness. Praise God. May you be blessed in the way that God intends as you seek God together.

1. Both husband and wife read through the entire section on Spiritual Disciplines that was handed out at the first small group gathering. Check with your group leaders of with the Raglands if you need a copy. Pray before you begin reading that God will guide you through your reading regarding a particular spiritual discipline that God wants you to consider doing as a couple. Pray that God will also guide your spouse. Listen through your reading with the listening that we did in Lectio Devina (third small group). Listen for the spiritual discipline that draws your attention, for the one that would seem like in bold print for the visually inclined, for the one that seems to sing for the auditory types. You might allow yourselves several days to accomplish this.

2. After each has had time to read, come together again and each one share regarding the discipline to which each feels inspired. Discuss and share your inspirations. Please do be gracious with yourself and with your spouse. Remember that sometimes God’s leading is a simple as the tiniest of nudges. Sometimes God’s leading is a mighty flame.

3. If both have the same inspiration, then make plans for when you can begin and talk about how you might accomplish the discipline. While you are together, reread the section from the Three Strand Cord material. After each discipline, there are ideas about how to accomplish the discipline together. Use one of these, or make up your own. Please consider engaging in the discipline for a time span of one week (or another short time span that you negotiate as it fits for the particular discipline). We can use our BLOG to be in touch with other couples who are seeking to employ each particular discipline. Your experience, your question, your searching, your success….can spur others on towards an encounter with God. Each spiritual discipline will be listed in the CATEGORIES section on the lower right side bar of the BLOG. Please consider connecting. There are no wrong contributions.

4. If you both different inspirations, then find a way to honor each one’s offering. We need not limit ourselves when it comes to the plethora of ways that we can seek to experience God’s presence. We would suggest in this case that you trust God’s guidance of each one. In this situation, this exercises may take you out of your comfort zone, but maybe that is where God want you to be. We would suggest that you engage in one discipline for a week. Then, after the time of discussion described below, engage in the second discipline the second week.

5. After a week (or negotiated time) of the particular discipline, plan to come together to discuss what this experience was like. Depending on your personal style, you might want to keep notes of inspirations that you felt so that you will be ready to share. (You might also be the kind with a great memory that can make mental notes and be ready to go when it comes to recollection). Please consider each one answering the following questions:

A) What I found meaningful about this discipline was that ……

B) I feel that God by inspiring this discipline may have wanted me to learn that…..

C) What difference did it make to me that I engaged in this discipline with my spouse?

D) I think this would (or would not) be a discipline to consider again . Why? Or Why not?

E) Please share experiences with God that you experienced during the week of this discipline.

6. If you consider engaging in the discipline again, please take it again in small increments of time and have a time of review after each increment. Consider yourselves training for a spiritual marathon. Train in increments. Don’t set yourselves up for disappointment in this world where we are already pulled in so many directions. Make taking the time to reap the spiritual benefits of marriage a journey……much like working out…..build over time. The review time is very important because you can see more clearly what God is up to, and you have the front row seat in witnessing God’s movement in your beloved (which uniquely equips you to offer powerful prayers).